So, I'm returning from the blog graveyard. I'm sure my 1.2 readers are pining away wondering what exciting adventures I've been up to. However, unless you count inserting a Foley catheter into a 300 pound sweating penis exciting (it was nasty and required two assistants to 'support' the belly), my adventures have been fairly tame. There have however been some changes.
Change number one: He's 6'0, has a bangin body, is my best friend, and just (as in, you know...three weeks ago 'just') moved to Alaska. Let me answer the questions before you ask. Yes, I miss him like crazy. Yes, it was a very difficult decision. Yes, summer is a long time and October feels like a million years from now.
Mike: Enjoying the Alaskan lifeChange number two: It's actually one change that's ricocheted into 1,000 tiny changes. Change number one means that I now live alone, and it.is.sooo.weird. This means that there's no one to rescue me from a mountain of dishes I don't think I can conquer, I can buy as many cucumbers as I want while I'm grocery shopping, my showers are a lot more boring, Mufasa is the main man in my bed, and I'm constantly worrying about the creep in the bushes.
Me: Living alone
Change number three: I found a flea. The second one since we moved to Florida. My OCD ass was on the phone with the vet within ten minutes questioning her about why his flea medication was failing me! So, I solved the problem. I shaved him, all the hair, gone. No hair, no fleas, happy home. If it this isn't enough to give him a complex, I don't know what will.
Change number four: The Honda, our black beast that made the drive from the chilled Alaskan tundra was violently murdered by three road signs speeding by us at 75 mph. And it was only HALF my fault!! I promise. Let's just say we picked a fight with a couple road signs and the civic came out looking worse than a one-night stand. So, we have a new car. It's another civic. I know, I'm nothing if consistent.