Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Life.Now.

I find it interesting how we can exist in our self created world for months without change, until we make one single decision, and the entire deck of cards crumbles beneath you. Most of the time I can predict the impact a particular change will have on my life..but others I underestimate. Letting go of Mike, was just the tip of a very large iceberg in my life. (keep in mind, I hesitate even as I write this blog the futility of it, the purpose it serves in publishing it to god knows who...whatevs.) But I thought I would, for a small moment document the impact, or the change in events it has caused in mine.
In any committed relationship, you take on certain responsibilities. One person always pays the bills, the other makes sure the laundry is done, one washes the car, the other person makes sure the movies get returned on time...and so life together is established. And after seven years, we established a routine. But being newly...it kind of feels like it's you against the world. You realize, in a new light independence with all it's glitz and glamour, freedom and fun-filled nights come with a price. It's you that has to do it all.
But life has a funny sense of timing. Somehow, things never happen in a crescendo....rather like a tsunami on an unsuspecting pansy..lol. So...this is how my personal tsunami has played out...in the last month.
Tests two times a week
Clinical rotations twice weekly
Andrews sixth birthday, with no pictures
Diagnosable anxiety
Ending of a relationship
Saying goodbye to close friends
Mufasa moving in with Mike
A canceled tuition payment
Rescuing parents
And support from places I never expected
Loving family
Wrestling with my own personal demons
Establishing new financial independence
Dividing seven years worth of gathered and treasured goods
Dividing one life in two
Waking up at 3 a.m. to study
Going to bed at 11 p.m.
Sleeping in
Making new friends
Loving the ones I've already made....
And if you're still reading, I'm impressed, haha. So, I don't want this to sound like a sob story...because I treasure life, and I realize that through every storm comes growth and positive change. I have been blessed with incredibly supportive family and friends. But, this is a blog about my life...and this is how it has played out, so far.

4 comments:

jeannette said...

Good that your study is keeping you occupied...sorry it went this way in your relationship, but only yo two can decide what's best for you.
Take care!:)

Eric and Emily said...

When it rains it pours for sure. Love you and thinking of you.

BECKY said...

Hugs Kim.

LeBaron Family said...

Big hugs Kim.