Sunday, May 24, 2009

No, I wasn't born in Alaska.

Mike and I both work as bartenders on a train in Alaska that operates from Seward to Talkeetna and back. While doing this, we discover that the average person either has a surprisingly low IQ or packs their brain in with their luggage...because these are only a few of the common concerns a tourist will voice.

Scenario A

After walking off the ship, onto a train facing the ocean, they turn to me and ask "Which way will this train be going?"

Scenario B

Guest: Which way will this train be going?
Me: South.
Guest: Well I'll need to switch spots with someone because I can not ride backwards.
Me: The train will be completely full today, but after everyone is loaded, I'll see what I can work out.
Guest: Well, I just can't ride backwards or I'll get sick.
Me: Have you ever ridden backwards before?
Guest: -long pause-
Me: You can actually see the scenery for longer while riding the train backwards.
Guest: -whoooshhh-this is way over my head-I just can't ride backwards.
Me: -pause-breathe-smile- I'll work something out. 

Also among the more amusing things I overhear:

"I came up to Alaska to see the penguins."

"Look honey.....GLACIERS!!!"

"When are we going to see a moose?"

And the best part of my job......picking out all the people who bought shoes exclusively for the cruise. You can spot them a hundred yards away, and it's hilarious. Seventy five year old couples who bought hiking shoes, regular walking shoes just won't do....this is Alaska. We're going to need major footwear for all these lodges we're staying at.....LOL. And I would be amiss if I didn't mention the matchy matchy. Matching blue coats with matching totes, it happens more than you'd think. 

While this post may seem like it's dripping with sarcasm, I smile and share a soft chuckle with myself while typing this. Knowing that in four hours, I'll be up and on the train at 2:30a.m. doing it all over again.


Holly said...

aww I miss watching the shoes go by in Whittier-especially the skin colored orthopedic ones. Remember that day last year when it was rainy and windy and we got to watch those old people hustle? :)

Brent Danley said...

"Which way will this train be going?"

LOL. Most people seem stupid to you because, relatively, THEY ARE!

Enjoyed your post, as usual.

BECKY said...


Favorite part is about the shoes purchase. I know like 30 people who have done that. Cracks me up too. People-watching is the best!

BECKY said...

Any updates?