The Story

One of the differences between Roy and myself is that while I like to mull things over and tend to flip flop over big decisions Roy will make up his mind and the decision might as well be set in stone. That being said, the first time Roy proposed to me was four months after we started dating. We were standing in my kitchen making a dinner together, Roy pours a glass a wine and as he's handing it to me looks me straight in the eye and asks ... 'marry me Kimmy'...I take the wine and look at him and say...'you're crazy, we've hardly been dating!' To which he responds 'I love you, you love me...marry me'. And the only response I could think of was 'No way! You're really crazy baby!'
We continued to date and our relationship deepened. We understood each other on a fundamental level. Our strengths and weaknesses complimented each other. I don't remember the exact moment I knew I wanted to marry him, but I've never doubted it since.
So, we talked about when we wanted to get married and we could never settle on a date. One thing we both knew was that neither of us wanted a big wedding. Something small and intimate. So, the week of the 15th we committed. We were going to get married that week. We wanted to get married on a Saturday and have an extended staycation. So that Friday we had what we jokingly called our rehersal dinner. The next day though we found out the courthouse wasn't open until Monday, so our wedding was post-poned for another two days. We called Roys family and shared the good news. Roys family is in the buckle of the bible belt in Texas and they all live on ranches, so talking with them always leaves me in tears from laughing so hard....especially Roy's Uncle Bill.
On Monday we got dressed up and went to the courthouse, filled out our paperwork...and got ready for a civil ceromony at the Osceola Courthouse. It was such an emotional experience for us both. We both cried and barely made it through our vows. Afterwards we went home and...well awhile later we went out to this nice steakhouse. We took two days afterwards off work and barely left the house, two love birds who couldn't get enough of each other.
While it was very impromptu and simple, we would not have had it any other way.
* Pictures to come

Tough Love

Seriously Mufasa is such a goof. But as I left off on my last post...this is how I felt. After a difficult year...things were looking up.

Wrong


And to be fair, it was entirely my fault. And while I wll not go into details, it changed my life. Again, need I say more....it's been quite the learning year.

Status Update

Wow, has it really almost been a year since my last post? What an interesting time in my life though! I feel like there are certain periods in my life where change is constant, and that I'm as pliable as the clay beneath a masters hands. I now understand the cost of uprooting two lives built together and how far the ripple extends. I've learned to respect and appreciate careers, but more importantly I appreciate the job I have today. Don't let any of that distract from the fact that no matter how many challenges I have had to overcome these past years, I count myself very very lucky.
So aren't you just dying to know what I've been up to?? Inquiring minds want to know, I'm sure...lol. So let me give you the spark-notes version of this last year.

In October...

I bugged it up at the Halloweeny celebrations!!

 Studied my buns off and worked on many school projects!

 Met this man. : )

 Had this beautiful beast stolen by *ahem* he who shall not be named, lol. Then had to by a Jetta...blah. I believe my Jetta is cursed, lol. 

In November......nothing too exciting happened. Just more of the same. 

But in DECEMBER!!!!

I graduated from nursing school as an LPN!!

 My dad flew all the way across the north American continent, stayed less than twelve hours....just to be there for my graduation! I love this guy. : )

In January I took my nursing boards...and passed!! I also celebrated my 26th birthday. One year older and wiser too! Things were looking up, finally. I started feeling stronger and more in control of my life...and that's where I'm going to leave off today, because work is calling. 

Life.Now.

I find it interesting how we can exist in our self created world for months without change, until we make one single decision, and the entire deck of cards crumbles beneath you. Most of the time I can predict the impact a particular change will have on my life..but others I underestimate. Letting go of Mike, was just the tip of a very large iceberg in my life. (keep in mind, I hesitate even as I write this blog the futility of it, the purpose it serves in publishing it to god knows who...whatevs.) But I thought I would, for a small moment document the impact, or the change in events it has caused in mine.

In any committed relationship, you take on certain responsibilities. One person always pays the bills, the other makes sure the laundry is done, one washes the car, the other person makes sure the movies get returned on time...and so life together is established. And after seven years, we established a routine. But being newly...it kind of feels like it's you against the world. You realize, in a new light independence with all it's glitz and glamour, freedom and fun-filled nights come with a price. It's you that has to do it all.

But life has a funny sense of timing. Somehow, things never happen in a crescendo....rather like a tsunami on an unsuspecting pansy..lol. So...this is how my personal tsunami has played out...in the last month.

Tests two times a week

Clinical rotations twice weekly

Andrews sixth birthday, with no pictures

Diagnosable anxiety

Ending of a relationship

Saying goodbye to close friends

Mufasa moving in with Mike

A canceled tuition payment

Rescuing parents

And support from places I never expected

Loving family

Wrestling with my own personal demons

Establishing new financial independence

Dividing seven years worth of gathered and treasured goods

Dividing one life in two

Waking up at 3 a.m. to study

Going to bed at 11 p.m.

Sleeping in

Making new friends

Loving the ones I've already made....

And if you're still reading, I'm impressed, haha. So, I don't want this to sound like a sob story...because I treasure life, and I realize that through every storm comes growth and positive change. I have been blessed with incredibly supportive family and friends. But, this is a blog about my life...and this is how it has played out, so far.

Breaking Up

Mike and I broke up last week. I don't want to go into a lot of detail about the why's and what went wrong. We were best friends, lovers, and confidants for seven years. I still love him and want what is best for him, however I felt that spending the rest of our lives together wasn't the right decision. I hate breaking up. Not that I've had to do it much in my life...but it really sucks. It sucks to have to make a decision that you know will hurt your best friend. It sucks to have to call people up one by one and tell them about your decision. It sucks to have to rehash the reasons time and time again. But I have been so incredibly blessed and surprised by the support I have been given from family, both Mike's and my own, and friends.

I have been thinking a lot about the break-up this past week. Obviously. Here is what I've been thinking about.

1. When do take down the pictures of you together around the house?

2. How long does it take to really 'feel' single?

3. How many times will I have to say 'my boyfriend...I mean...my ex-boyfriend'?

4. How do you decide who gets what?

5. Why can't people just be friends afterwards, because one of the hardest part of breaking up is losing my best friend.

6. Why do people always break their promises after breaking up?

7. Is there such things as shared custody of a dog?

8. I understand why people do it, and I realize it's a kind gesture...but I really hate when people say 'Is there anything I can do for you?'. If there was I would ask. I promise.

9. I also hate the 'Are you okay?' question. Chances are unless your a close friend or family member, I'm not going to tell you the truth anyways.

10. It feels weird to be single and living alone.

11. I'm really glad that school takes up so much of my time.

12. I really hate sleeping alone, but apparently I need to just deal with that because the situation is not likely to change anytime in the near future.

13. Speaking of the future. I'm really excited for mine!

14. I feel like I have a new lease on life.

15. I don't regret a single moment I spent with Mike.

3,808 miles

So, I'm returning from the blog graveyard. I'm sure my 1.2 readers are pining away wondering what exciting adventures I've been up to. However, unless you count inserting a Foley catheter into a 300 pound sweating penis exciting (it was nasty and required two assistants to 'support' the belly), my adventures have been fairly tame. There have however been some changes.

Change number one: He's 6'0, has a bangin body, is my best friend, and just (as in, you know...three weeks ago 'just') moved to Alaska. Let me answer the questions before you ask. Yes, I miss him like crazy. Yes, it was a very difficult decision. Yes, summer is a long time and October feels like a million years from now.

Mike: Enjoying the Alaskan life

Change number two: It's actually one change that's ricocheted into 1,000 tiny changes. Change number one means that I now live alone, and it.is.sooo.weird. This means that there's no one to rescue me from a mountain of dishes I don't think I can conquer, I can buy as many cucumbers as I want while I'm grocery shopping, my showers are a lot more boring, Mufasa is the main man in my bed, and I'm constantly worrying about the creep in the bushes.

Me: Living alone

Change number three: I found a flea. The second one since we moved to Florida. My OCD ass was on the phone with the vet within ten minutes questioning her about why his flea medication was failing me! So, I solved the problem. I shaved him, all the hair, gone. No hair, no fleas, happy home. If it this isn't enough to give him a complex, I don't know what will.

Mufasa, two months after the infamous shaving. He's bitter.

Change number four: The Honda, our black beast that made the drive from the chilled Alaskan tundra was violently murdered by three road signs speeding by us at 75 mph. And it was only HALF my fault!! I promise. Let's just say we picked a fight with a couple road signs and the civic came out looking worse than a one-night stand. So, we have a new car. It's another civic. I know, I'm nothing if consistent.

LOVE it!

Rodeo Day

So we have this pond (some call it a drainage ditch, whatev. It holds water, and it's round. That's a pond.) And this bird is a permanent fixture in it. Mufasa's got the attention span of a goldfish, three seconds and you've lost him. We can't even get him to catch a tennis ball (isn't that a dogs favorite pastime) but the one thing he does love to do is chase after these sand hill cranes. So sometimes, just to be sadistic I'll send him out to chase after this crane. The funniest part is when Mufasa realizes he has to go *into* the water to chase him, 'never mind', 'I'll let this one go'.

Is he hot or what? I'd do him. Oh wait, bahahaha! p.s. In case you're out of the loop, we live in Kissimmee, not kiss me, KissImmee

This is what Mufasa will do if we leave his bag out. Talk about desperate. I read online about doggie depression, and Mufasa seems like a prime time candidate. Is that the face of 'bring me back to China' or what?

This is part of my family, in Florida. An extention of Patsy (Mike's step-mom) sons and co. Real cowboys, running a ranch and everything. I asked them to let me help with a calving, and they looked back at me like I was two pepperonis short of a pizza. But here's Brett (in red) and his son with one of the steers they entered into the fair.

Nette (a complete sweetheart, also Patsy's daughter) and her son with his respective steer.

I thought this was HIGH-larious, did you know they wash and blow dry all the steers before showing? I told Mike after we saw this that now there was no giving me flack for taking a long time to get ready...haha.

And here, you have one of the winning steers. He was kind of weirded out I wanted to take his picture, but my my my that's one fine steer right here.

Awww. We're lovers. AND friends. And I look like a crack whore in this picture, what can I say, four hours of sleep a night will get to you.

Bidders, on your mark....GO!

p.s. You know your a redneck when....your offered rodeo day off instead of Presidents day. True story.